He opens it and sees the same snail. and let him slip his hand up her skirt. Two deer walk out of a gay bar. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? Someone else driving down the highway stops and walks over to him, and asks, What happened? The man replies, I hit this rabbit with my car and now its dead! The other person gets a thoughtful look on their face and goes back to their car. He first asks for a show of hands of all the people who had sex almost every night. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, "Congratulations! "Patient: "Right around the entrance. Never mind. ", A food critic visits a local restaurant to review its food for the town magazine. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He eventually makes his way over to the bear. The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you? Why haven't you spoken before? When the others asked him what the reason was for such sadness, the Kangaroo revealed that the rain meant that all its kids would now be playing inside. The snail says, What was that all about?. The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says, "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive". ", @font-face { One makes your whole day, but the other makes your hole weak. She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here! After John polled his group several more times he noticed one guy sitting off to the side with this huge beaming grin on his face. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance. ", 400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City. Watch while I prove it to you. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." As long as you think it's an entrance, it'll continue to hurt. Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal to someone else, will receive unlimited free liquor for the duration of the flight! Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing the parkas on such a hot day. says the wife. The girl wanted to have some apple punch so the boy went to get it, but to his surprise, there was no punch line. Its $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.. Error occurred when generating embed. And the genie sends him back home.Im lonely, says the third friend. url("//cdn2.editmysite.com/fonts/SQ_Market/sqmarket-medium.woff") format("woff"); ", As a group of robbers entered the bank, their leader went to the manager and asked him to open the vault. Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. It was only discovered after take off, when the flight attendants started going through their preparations for the meals. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone. Before leaving they told my friend that they had enjoyed painting his car, but it is not really a Porsche. I think she could be right.Saul replied enthusiastically, Well done! Be strong, honey. A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. ", Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. Vote on your favorite funny long jokes! As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this queue for and why are you now leaving it?". ", 400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City. Before, he did a quick internship at AMII and worked as a Wolt courier (in other words, before Bored Panda, he never had a real job). ""That's odd," answers the man. ""I'll have a glass of", says the bear. The town's folk eye him uneasily, but he makes his way to the bar and orders a beer. "Why are you here again? Weebly.footer.setupContainer('cdn2.editmysite.com', '1673987310'); He saw a police car passing the neighborhood, so he stopped it to ask for help. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. ", A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. "Help! } else { "I dont need to outrun the bear", the first guy says. He gets out of the car and walks over to the rabbit. ", The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car's gas tank and tires She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, "Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!". Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. Weebly.footer.setupContainer('cdn2.editmysite.com', '1673987310'); "I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy. 1. He picks it up and starts crying, thinking hes a horrible person. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now? A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him. //